First, there was the sound.
A keening wail that tore through the air
parting the thick clouds surrounding us.

Then came the cold.
A bite that didn't come from wind or water
but crept up through the earth we clung to,
sinking through our skin.

The villagers we past had warned us of this.
They'd told us that our shoes were too thin
that the weather would not hold against the Guardians.

But we laughed at their superstitions.
Insisted we knew better.
People who'd studies the natural world for years
but had never stepped foot on their land until today.

We weren't prepared for the sight
of many-jointed fingers reaching from empty sky
or the sensation of our feet shattering into icy stumps.

We weren't prepared for the fingers
ripping us from the rockface
and tossing us back down the cliffs.

The viliagers say
it's a miracle we even survived at all.

Okay then, let's get this straight.

You thought I was an evil monster...
because I have horns and six legs.
So, instead of doing the polite thing and saying hi
or even asking me where I was from,
you pull out your blaster and shoot me.

*Sigh*
I mean, I heal fast
and you're a terrible shot,
but seriously!
Learn some manners!

Is this your first trip off-planet or something?

Ah, you from one of those tiny colonies on the ass end of Pluto?
Thought so.
You folks don't get a lot of visitors there,
especially not Hlcatheci like me.
So it's not so crazy that you lost it soon as you saw me.

Just... promise me you'll stop being so trigger happy?
Good.
Now I won't have to eat you.
Enjoy your vacation!

I know you can feel that coldness crawling upward.
The chill numbness
of emptiness where once there was flesh.
Don't fight it.
Look down
and watch the color drain
pooling beneath you
like sand.
Soon you'll be just like me
and I'll finally let you taste
the sweetness of eternity that you've been yearning for..

Whoever said that dragons are just
hulking, terrifying, monsters,
has never met you. My cute
widdle scaley friend... how
could you be scary?
You're just the most
snuggly thing
ever
​born.

Here's a tip for you:
Don't mess with peoples' hats.

You might be thinking,
it's just a prank
what harm could it possibly do?
But oh ho ho, that question's a can of worms right there!
One you just smashed open!

I'll tell you what it could do.

Well, it could always make someone sad and/or start crying,
which would just make you an asshole.

But, it could also do something a little more... unexpected.
Like reveal that someone's actually a demon in disguise
and their horns were tucked under the hat the whole time,
which may lead to you being incinerated on the spot
or possibly the apocalypse.
Whatever comes first.
Or maybe they kept their baby dragon warm within the hat
and as soon as it's knocked over
the creature attacks and bites you in the face.

Either way, you should just leave peoples' hats alone
and respect their personal space.
​Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

I will only dive into your mind if you ask me to.
If what lies inside is absolutely necessary
and you yourself cannot retrieve it.
Because I know what it's like to be violated,
to have another's voice sound within me
leaving traces of themselves that taint and aim to claim me as theirs.
So please,
think deeply about what you ask
and ensure that no other option is available.
Then ask me again.
And I will do it.

You seem to forget
that before the animals were walking on their legs
they were trees
fixed in place with roots
terrified of what might lurk outside their groves.

The stories that the wind carried by
of landscapes unthinkable
of the waters below and the air above
would make them shiver in fear.

No one knows what made them change their minds.
How they tore themselves from the earth
and their roots turned to legs and wings.
But it's no wonder we see faces amidst the bark
or hands in the grasping twigs.
A deeper part of us than we can reach
sees these beings standing tall
and thinks,
hello, old friend.

The clouds have finally settled down.
No longer dark and frenetic,
they snore quietly in their beds
misty-eyed and resting.

It makes sense that they are so tuckered out.
Today was a busy day
and they managed to cover an entire city on their own.
I've trained them well.

Soon, I'll send them off to the desert.
The people there are in desperate need of rain,
and if any of my pets will be able to help them
​it'll be these.

You've made the choice. It's too late now to turn from the Mortal Path.
Through black glass, red spots, and jackals, it stretches. The Mortal Path.

You'll find more than velvet drops and curtained monsters, down this road.
There's goats, and jokes, and Gary gems, scattered down the Mortal Path.

You might need to chug some blood to make it through the sandy caves.
Between the ghosts and demons, you'll need it on the Mortal Path.

Don't forget your trusty teifling- remember he's a lizard?
He'll cater your travels with crepes as you walk the Mortal Path.

And you'll have Taro being... Taro, with new voices everyday,
toot-toot pipes, and birthday parties to spice up the Mortal Path.

Ms. Nerium too, with sewing and sneaking skills tried and true.
Who knew a seamstress could do so well along the Mortal Path?

So too comes Natalia with keen mind, runekeeper's eyes and
fiery blade. Forces to be reckoned with on the Mortal Path.

It's fantastic, terrifying, and also hilarious.
So come fangirl with me. I'll be walking down the Mortal Path.

-------------------------------------------

This poem is all about one of my favorite podcasts, The Mortal Path. Here's a link to their epicness that you should check out! https://themortalpath.com/

Hmm... don't tell me...
it's a vampire.
No? Fair, we haven't had one of those in years.
If not that... a ghoul?
A banshee?

Oh come on!
What is it then?
Goblins? Ogres?
Giant mutant hedgehogs with a taste for human flesh?
You've gotta give me something here!

...you're kidding.
Sasquatch. In town?
Today?!

Why didn't you say that earlier?
I've gotta get ready!
He's the only major cryptid I haven't met yet and I-
I'll see you later-
I've gotta get all of my collectibles for him to sign!